Prior coming to SMI, I fearfully wrestled with my inadequacy of medical experiences since I don’t start school until August for occupational therapy. The first week of SMI magnified the intense pride and self-reliance of my own abilities to feel capable for medical missions. Lies shrouded my mind, saying I needed to be experienced in order to be adequate and able to be used by God. As my sinful heart lay exposed before the Lord, He revealed to me in His Word in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, [Jesus says] “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong”.
My favorite part used to be about His grace’s sufficiency because of His power that overcame my weakness. It was very comforting. However, I soon realized that there was more to the passage. I had been overlooking the rest of this passage. “Therefore,” it says, meaning my response to His grace and power is to “boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses”! This is the necessary response to God’s grace and power, yet I have allowed pride to overwhelm me and to produce the opposite. My pride deceived me into trusting my own abilities for strength and comfort. My pride said I am not weak, I can be better. My pride said I must hide my weakness so I do not look unable. Though my heart is still calloused and cold with sin, the Word of God never fails to melt my heart and bring it to proclaim, “Soli Dio Gloria, Glory to God Alone, All glory to you God.” Through my SMI experience, I have been reminded of the beautiful news of the gospel. I have been taught ever so joyfully and gladly to boast in the very weaknesses that I used to fear so much. A song called, “Oh My Soul” resonates deeply within my heart through this experience:
“Let the beautiful lies that wrinkle and stain
Fade out near the light of Your glory and grace
Let all that I am contend for Your praise
And the holiness You’re working in me” – Stephen Miller
With so much that is happening at SMI, God is humbling me into being transparent to all those around me especially those I interact with in Kensington. Rather than going into homes feeling a need to be strong or having all the right words to say, I now go in with faith and joy in my vulnerability and weakness. I go with the mindset that I am a sinner saved by grace, excited to share the good news of Jesus because He is risen and will return. I will lean not on my own understanding, but I will trust in the Lord with all my heart for what He is doing here in Kensington – which I must say has been amazing and ever so fruitful 🙂
Post by Angela Wan