Processed with VSCO with  preset“Hi, my name is Simon and I’m from Esperanza Health Center and Urban Hope Church. We’re offering free health screenings—would you be interested?”

It’s funny how such simple words can be an invitation into the messiness of people’s lives. Over these past couple weeks, I’ve knocked on countless doors and was greeted by a multitude of faces. Some politely declined, others yelled at us, and some just didn’t open their doors at all. But the people that opened their homes to us—and in a way, their lives—will be the ones I’ll remember.

One particular person that stands out to me was a young man who flagged us down to do a screening for him. He was very open and shared a lot about his struggles in life. He also talked to us a lot about his church background and why he stopped going. He then asked if we went to church and when we answered that we did, he asked if he could go to church with us. This was very surprising because none of the people we’ve met had been so interested in Christianity, and they certainly never invited themselves. We gladly accepted and made plans to pick him up on our way to church on Sunday.

When he actually opened his door came out to church on Sunday, we were ecstatic. Afterwards, he said he enjoyed it and we introduced him to some of the people in the church. We connected him with the pastor, who informed him about an addiction recovery small group, since he told us he was using drugs to get high. We were also able to set him up to do some construction work at the church so that he could learn a trade that could potentially be a job for him in the future. It would also take up time in his week so he wouldn’t get bored and go out to get high. It was really amazing to see God providing all of these opportunities for him and we were really hopeful for him.

The next day, we went back to visit him, but when we knocked on his door, his family said he wasn’t there and he was probably out getting high. We asked if he had gone to work or to the small group and they said that he hadn’t done that either. They also said that he was going to have a court date tomorrow and that he was probably going back to prison because he had violated his probation almost every night to get high. We were both saddened and devastated because we had tried so hard to help him by setting him up with a church and a job, but he wasn’t willing to take advantage of the opportunities.

As a short term missionary, there’s very little I can do to actually impact the people I encounter. I can do a health screening and tell them that they have high blood pressure or high blood sugar, but I can’t treat them or give them medicine. I can refer and encourage them to go to a doctor, but I can’t force them to make an appointment. I can share the Gospel and connect them to a church, but I can’t ensure that they believe or go. Realizing this makes me wonder if there’s any purpose for us to be here or if all our efforts are futile.

But I believe in a God that works miracles. I believe in a God whose heart breaks for his people. I believe in a God who invites the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the poor and the sinners to dine at his table. I believe that only God can change hearts. I believe that only God can give the growth.

During my three weeks here, I’ve encountered so much brokenness in the community. But as I’ve engaged with people about their health issues, family, poverty and addictions, I’ve realized that there is also something very beautiful about the way people love and live around here. God has been at work in these neighborhoods long before we walked on these streets. It’s given me a newfound love for the streets and people of North Philadelphia, which I had previously considered irredeemable.

Here at SMI, I found brokenness. But I also found my own heart broken.

— Simon Chen
SMI 2018