07.14.2017
It’s ironic that I have no idea where to begin this blog post since I’ve been emailing my supporters/prayer warriors/donors almost everyday of this mission trip – though in part, that may be the reason why I’m having trouble. There’s just so much that’s happened in these 3 incredibly short weeks, and so much that I’ve learned from God that it’s too difficult to comprehensively summarize it all (and hence I was sending update emails every night…kudos to my supporters for dealing with all of the “spam!”).
But in talking with my discipleship mentor tonight, I’ve come back to a particularly convicting lesson so many times in these past couple of weeks that it’s something worth sharing.
To be honest, this is my first Christian missions trip. And while I like to say that I came in with an open heart and mind to simply leaning into whatever God has to teach me for these 3 weeks and trust Him in whatever comes out of this trip (which was a lesson that I took from my medical trip to Guatemala a few years ago), in all honesty, part of me was expecting gigantic, awe-inspiring miracles from God of people receiving Christ.
This expectation was quickly met with the realities of mission work. In my first week with SMI, I had peace-filled door-to-door interactions with our neighbors. But at the same time, I felt overwhelmed by an encounter with a drug addict who came up to us asking for food. Not that it was scary. Not that her sad story was too overwhelming for me to wrap my mind around.
It was worry over the many other people in North Philly being stuck in a cycle of abuse, drugs, and the many other things that plague this community.
By our 2nd Sunday here, I didn’t think I felt so overwhelmed until I felt the exhaustion of that 1st week’s outreach on my heart and hot tears streaming down my cheeks during worship. Tears that I just couldn’t stop, because I couldn’t stop thinking about how hopeless it seemed that nothing we did that week made any difference, that things were going to go back to the way things were after we leave in 3 weeks since our program is so short and there wouldn’t be “adequate” follow-up on our part.
But God is gracious and is a God who listens with compassion. I will say that what’s helped me so much throughout these 3 weeks in missions was having a group of prayer warriors constantly praying for me. And I’ve been blessed to have had the opportunity to see God answering prayers so quickly – from my update/prayer list, all the way down to my discipleship mentor who was also quick to give me encouragement over email. And I saw the fruits of their prayers as God showed me the abundance of His grace and work in North Philly – the next day =)
A passage from Titus 3 that Pastor Buddy from The Rock had preached about that 2nd Sunday has also left an imprint on my heart, as well as this beautiful metaphor one of my roommates, Faith, brought up during small group about us as gardeners and playing roles as seed sowers or waterers – all the way to harvesting. And what I’ve been able to take away from those lessons so early on in SMI was that I didn’t have to fret about seeing the fruits of “my work” because God is working in that person’s life regardless of my role in their faith journey, because either way, they were being exposed to God’s love, because either way I was doing the work God’s called me to do. And what we’ve learned early on was that it takes an average of 16 contacts with the gospel for someone to receive Christ. So we may be the person who is blessed to be there at the right time to see the harvest, or we may just be the person who starts to plant a tiny mustard seed of faith, or just the person who encourages the growth of that faith.
And in having lived in North Philly these past 3 weeks and having walked these streets, I’ve had many opportunities to meet Christians who are already planted in this community by God to be continual witnesses of His love.
And it’s given me so much hope and encouragement in the midst of the heartbreak here. Ever since that 1st week of SMI, I haven’t felt such a heavy weight of discouragement again; all I see is God working in small ways in this community and holding onto the hope that we are playing a part in God’s work. And it especially gives me hope to know that there are Christians established here to continue to work as fishers of men. So something that I’ve been praying about over the past couple of weeks is simply praying for the Christians living in North Philly – for God’s strength and boldness to be witnesses here, and to continue to carry on the mission that we have been so fortunate and blessed to have been a part of =).
This hope that I have became so clear in having met a foster care family and having had a chance to follow-up with the little foster girls there 4 times over the course of these 3 weeks. By our 3rd follow-up visit, I was amazed by how the nurse practitioner we worked with handled the many small opportunities to witness to the 11 year old girl there, and encouraging her that God is a God to listens and cares when she feels sad and has no one to talk to. I came back to Bethel Temple that day reflecting on that moment of witnessing, and it just brought so much joy to my heart to think that someday if and when that little girl accepts Christ into her life, how awesome it is to have been a part of her journey to know Christ. It’s pressed upon my heart so much that I wanted to go back to visit and remind her again of God’s goodness, especially after seeing her cry “noooooo” when I told her it might be our last visit with them. And so today on our last outreach we went back to visit, with my encouragement heart-shaped card to her in tow =) And she said to me as we hugged goodbye that this was not goodbye, but “see you again later,” something that made my heart smile =)
So as “hard” as it’s been having to be surrounded by the brokenness all around me these past 3 weeks, it’s been a huge blessing to learn dependence and trust of God’s work in me and in the people we’ve encountered. It’s hard to believe we’re done with outreach, and I’m really going to miss being here and going door-to-door. And I’m going to miss the fellowship of these inspiring and compassionate brothers and sisters in Christ who have a heart for the people here. Why do I have to be such an introvert and am only just starting to warm up to everyone here? (By the way, God’s certainly worked a kind of boldness in me to have courage to share about my faith with strangers here after struggling with conducting the health screen interview. Yay!)
But I have hope that our shared mission in working for the Lord continues to keep us bound together even after SMI ends this week =)
Love Without Wax,