As I entered the third day of outreach, I felt drained and completely inadequate. I was keenly aware of the fact that I was an outsider and that I knew very little about what it is like to live in this community of North Philly. Having heard from a speaker from the local community the night before, I understood the importance of humbly approaching the people of North Philly and viewing myself as a student rather than a teacher. But as to how I was to practically do that, I had no clue. The question that plagued my mind the most was, How am I to share the Gospel in a genuine, humble way that meets these people where they are? I knew that God had called me to share my faith, but my feelings of inadequacy and inexperience weighed on me.
As we performed the first few health screenings, I went through the motions but avoided any in-depth or spiritual conversation. I was praying, God, show me how to share your Gospel with your people, but there was no easy answer.
Continuing our outreach, we came upon a friendly man in an auto repair shop. As we concluded the screening, he shared that he had six kids to provide for and had recently dealt with the death of a close family member. Life was not easy for him. I asked if he attended church, and he said he hadn’t for a very long time. All of a sudden, looking at this man, hearing him talk about his life, I knew what I needed to say. I shared with him the hope that Jesus gives us for life when it is difficult, and we then had a brief conversation about Jesus. It was as simple as that. I had no eloquent testimony, and my words were far from perfect. We didn’t even pray the salvation prayer. But I could see that what I said had an impact. He was clearly contemplating what I had shared with him. While I don’t know what he did with that information, I pray that I planted a seed that God will continue to grow and nourish.
Walking away from that encounter, I did not feel as I thought I’d unlocked some grand solution to the dilemma of being an outsider. But I did realize that God can use me, despite my brokenness, lack of confidence, and inexperience. I had sensed His leading of my words with the man at the repair shop, and I understood that God was the one who could speak to these people, not me. My job is to continually seek Him throughout my days, allowing Him to guide my words and actions. The people of North Philly are beloved to God, and He can use my weakness to reach them.
I still feel inadequate. And I still have much searching and praying to do. But I have realized that I am simply a broken vessel that God uses. I don’t need to have all the answers. I just need to pursue Him, the perfect, all-knowing One.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”
2 Corinthians 4:7-10
– Emily Hepler