Maybe now would be a good time to ask…
I could feel the sweat trickling down my back. This wasn’t the drenching rain from the thunderstorm we had just avoided by coming back to the Rock Ministries, our home church.
The man had sunglasses on and I couldn’t exactly tell what he was feeling at the moment, but looking from his facial expression, I could discern that he was uncomfortable and did not want to open up too much to me as I took his blood pressure and glucose measurements.
My thoughts got interrupted as we soon struck up a conversation. How had he ended up breaking his leg? How long had it been since he had left the hospital? How did he feel about all the traumatic events that he had suffered in the past three days? These questions were beyond the basic ones we had printed on the medical screening form we used as reference for our screening process. But the more I strayed from the standard questions and began connecting with the patient on a personal level, the more I found that he began to dismantle the walls he initially had surrounded himself with.
As he removed his sunglasses, he began to share stories about his injury and I could not help but be amazed that his man still had control over the movement of his toes.
His voice, tone, facial expressions and hand gestures became more lively and animated as his walls gradually dismantled.
Despite having snapped cleanly through the distal fibula and tibia, the fibula had crossed over to push out against the skin without piercing the skin.
Even more miraculous than this was that this injury had avoided the major blood vessels and nerves! I was amazed at how God had protected this man on so many different levels and amazed also that this man had managed to recount this story to me without having uttered a single time any reference to God or any form of religion.
My heart squeezed in my chest.
Should I bring up my repressed first initial wonder that “Wow! That’s a miracle! God really protected you!” and naturally transition to talking with this man regarding God and the Gospels?
A small squeak escaped my throat as I opened my mouth. The man paused mid-speech. I froze. My wide open eyes also froze, searching his face.
I can only say that there was a spiritual battle going on inside me during this split second where I realized my hesitation. The verse that comes to mind most appropriate to this situation would be the verse from Galatians1:10 which states “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (ESV).
I mustered up enough courage to say a short “God must have really protected you, it’s amazing that all your nerves didn’t get damaged at all”.
Soon, the medical screening wrapped up and I helped the man as he wheeled his wheelchair to the door.
God, I just pray for your comfort upon this child of yours.
Please protect him and although I wasn’t able to share the Gospel with him, Lord, I pray that…
Halfway down the ramp, the man stopped.
He turned around.
“You go to this church on Sundays?”
Sigh…I should have been more bold…but maybe next time, Lord…….huh?
I stopped in the middle of my internal prayer in complete astonishment as I realized what the man was asking.
“Oh! Um, yes! We have service here at the Rock at 11am on Sundays. Would you be able to make it?”
Pause.
“Yeah, yeah. I should be able to make it. I’ll see you on Sunday.”
“Yay! For sure, I will be here for service at 11am on Sunday” I reiterated.
YES!!!!!!
You can only imagine how ecstatic I was while simultaneously I was humbled tremendously. I prayed a fervent prayer of thanks to God, who was using even my failures and lost battles to teach me and show me His great power.
Like Jonah who ran the other way when God told him to “go”, I had felt the promptings and tugging on my heart at certain moments and chose to keep my mouth shut.
I guess God can still use someone like me.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” – Romans 3:23 (ESV)
The fact that I was still a sinner despite even my best intentions in going out into the community made this verse touch me in a different way. There was nothing I could do myself in order to receive salvation. Salvation is a saving grace from God that has been given to me as well as every single person in this world who has received Jesus Christ as Savior.
This experience was so encouraging to me to see that even in my shortcomings, God is able to continue to train me and build me up in courage to obey and just open my mouth for the next time He commands me to “…go forth and make disciples of all nations” – Matthew 28:19
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)
-Yoon Ko